the song of the day, and of the past two weeks: The Purple and Gold, by Dave Clements, Max Spires, Ms. R. G. Frazier; revised by Ms. B. H. Norveson. Also known as the JCL Song.

Seeking the best -- the highest our goal,
working for greatness through glories of old,
searching the realms of the golden past,
we follow the Classics' truths that last.

In knowledge, truth, and fellowship
we're growing every day;
the friendly hand of JCL aids in every way.
In Rome's proud steps we're marching on
with every true colleague,
and forever we'll hold
to the Purple and Gold
of the Junior Classical League.

::sob:: i miss singing it in General Assembly at nationals...to hear various non-vocal renditions of the song, go to JCL Song. props to Darren for putting up the song and the arrangements.

i created an away msg today:

and all that there is : emptiness.regret.wishes.

im in one of those moods again...i think i need to get outta the house. leave a msg, esp. if you're a part of the Consortium

while writing it, i realized that the makeup of the Consortium's changed somewhat; there are people in it who prolly don't know that they're in it...it used to be made of one overworked, superhuman, devoted angel. now, in addition to mi thin-haloed angel there are other folks who keep me sane, most likely without knowing that they do.

The Consortium's full name is the Keep Cat Sane Consortium and it was founded back when UT started as part of an effort to keep me from jumping out of a window while at UT Austin, and to keep mi mental faculties more or less intact. even though UTNIF Plan I is now finished ::sniffle:: the Consortium lives on, for its mission is not yet ended. i doubt that it ever will be. most likely the Consortium will be putting in many hours overtime once fall comes, for with that season -- school starts, college apps plunge into full swing, debate season starts, and Ludi planning ricochets into overtime.

much gratitude and thanks to all yall members (unwitting or witting).

due to popular demand, i'm finally going to update mi blog. i've felt like i should update mi blog for a while, and even felt like i was going to, but i haven't until this moment. part of that is that whenever i looked at mi blog, i felt like a different person from the one who put up all the old posts. i felt like i've changed so much from the person i was before njcl, but that's not entirely true -- i've metamorphosized (is that a word?) somewhat but i'm still whoever i was, essentially. at UT, since no one there knew me, it was somewhat liberating -- i had the chance to build mi personality, unconsciously. that's the time when i've been the most 'me' i've ever been, i went into UT without mi personality being predefined. no one there knew me personally and so i was able to behave in a completely unrestricted manner. normally, whenever someone i know is around, i unconsciously fall into certain behaviors, or omit certain behaviors. i had the chance to be miself at UT, and that more accurate personality managed to survive through to njcl (national latin convention) and, if anything, was reinforced while i was at njcl.

some stuff changed while i was at convention, that's for sure, and i'm free now (in some senses) because of events that happened during njcl. yet the core of mi identity is the same that came out of UT a few weeks ago.

this whole summer has been a time of changing.metamorphosizing.in terms of personality and identity.migrated far from what mi outward identity/personality was at the end of the school year.

i find that 'metamorphosize' is a more accurate term to describe the process that's been happening to mi personality this summer than evolving or growing. evolving and growing imply a tendency to become finer, better products more removed from the original character, whereas in some senses i've become closer to the personality that underlies the facades most often presented to people. metamorphosizing implies nothing more than sheer change, without the connotations of 'improvement' and the other baggage that 'evolve' and 'grow' carry with them.