this is rather pointless, but i'll put it up anyways ~ some of mi favorite quotes. favorite because a) cool; b) wise-sounding; c) v. funny for context or content.

Martial: Sit tibi terra levis mollique tegaris harena/ne tua non possint eruere ossa canes.
Vergil: forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.
Vergil: agnosco veteris vestigia flammae.

bitch: rest assured that when i start to make you nervous/and im going to extremes/tomorrow i will change/and today won't mean a thing
calvin and hobbes: if you're arguing with an idiot, make sure [s/]he isn't doing the same thing.
dc talk: luv is a verb
oklahoma!: wont have to go on kissing a daydream
oscar levant: there's a fine line between genius and insanity. i have erased this line.
Weiss & Hickman: i opened my heart once, First Master. Someone came in and ransacked the place.

kawasaki: embrace the unknown, challenge the known
liz: kevin "it's indecent to bite a woman's breasts!"
meghan: just smile and nod, honey
tim: Kevin has activated the hamster.
tim: you have succeeded in mind controlling my brother to your purposes. He has obeyed your evil orders, and is playing that Rock Music version of "Happy Birthday" around me with that thingie. You will pay for this.
tim: Oh, oh, dearie, do as you preach: have dreams.

words that are music to mi ears:
tim: Kevin has activated the hamster.

it's nice to know that now i have a way to torture The Mean One, even if it causes more torture for me. that was a brilliant, brilliant, very inspired gift that liz thought up, the hamster. at the time, it just seemed like an adorable dancing and singing hamster. at the time, i was ignorant of the potential for revenge that lay in the innocent furry face and paws.

what am i like? what am i? who am i? i wonder what impression people who don't really know me get of me when they read this rambling, random jumble of song lyrics, thoughts, and IM quotes. the first, v. first blog entry on Boerne v. Flores marks me as a nerd extraordinaire...and progressing through the entries from that day to today...there's a change of sorts. there's even a change in what this blog is - it's become more of an extended, gigantic AIM info, where i remark about whatever's funny, interesting, etc., put up song lyrics, and moan about mi friendship (to be or not to be? that is the question) issues. i think that i liked it better when i was writing about odd stuff - ghostly images repeating in mi mind (04.15.02), tearing the petals off of roses (04.21.02, 04.22.02). it's become too mundane, too general, now. when i write, i want it to be different. it doesn't have to be thoughtful, just different. what dyalls prefer? random thoughts or IM quotes and griping about relationships?

let me start over again...start anew, start fresh. is it possible to remake one's identity? how do you fiddle with speech, walk, gait, dress, and overall appearance to create a visual You that isn't the true You? it's only possible to do so and present a You that will be untained by any perceptions of yourself prior to the cosmetic changes when you're going into a completely new environment. the risk then is that people will accept that first impression as your true self and act accordingly. at least for a while, until you choose to drop the illusion. however--once you pick up an illusion, create a facade of a person you might be, it becomes you, at least a tiny shred. perceptions people judgments illusions impressions. all very fun to fiddle with. sometimes - when you see someone, you can tell many, many things about them somehow, even after just three glances. if i tried to put on a different identity, a different sort of Cat, would a person be able to look at me and realize that i'm faking, that the guise isn't the true Cat? would they notice weird inconsistencies - e.g. between mi dress and the way i carry miself? between a brainless, careless attitude (adopted as part of an identity) and a Latin Literature book tucked under mi arm? if i could adapt miself - gait, speech, walk, carriage, the little details - to form various convincing personas/guises/identities/people, that would be v. cool. perhaps i should start practicing?

im trying to learn how to write by writing. it's the trial-by-fire method -- learn how to do something by doing it.

mi favorite blog entry: 04.15.02 (the stuff that i wrote, not the lyrics that i pulled off the Web. granted, those are v. cool, too. else i woudn't have put them up.)
what's your favorite one? vote! ;-) IM me and send me your vote for your favorite blog entry in this blog (pls bear in mind that on this page only 7 days' worth of entries show. there's more in the archives, if yalls actually want to dig through it all. personally, i like the stuff in the archives better.).

i must learn to break the horrible, terrible grip of fear that The Mean One has on his lackeys, enemies, allies, and siblings. This tyrannt holds an enormous amount of power, unfortunately, due to the fear that people have of him. even his sibling, who no doubt suffers daily under the scourge of The Mean One, could not be persuaded to take vengeance by annoying The Mean One and disrupting his nefarious slumber:

cat: ooh...take the hamster and set it off right next to your brother's head, if he's sleeping, please! :-)
innocent sibling: i can't...he'll kill me!

in order that all people be allowed to live in freedom, peace, and happiness, something must be done. The Mean One's power must be broken! are yalls with me in this cause, in this crusade, in this revolt for an end to The Mean One's reign of terror, cruelty, and torture? speak now and join me or forever hold your peace and cower under his verbal whips and death threats. As for me and mine, we say ~ give us liberty, or give us death!

-----------------------------

song of the day (edited): Bitch, by Meredith Brooks

I hate the world today
You're so good to me I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet, yesterday I cried

You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused, I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

[chorus]:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

[chorus]

Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
And don't try to save me

[chorus]

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

okiedokie, i really shouldn't be putting this sort of thing (i.e. IMs, private conversations, stuff along those lines) on what's more or less an open journal, but i choose not to resist the temptation this time. it's one of mi few (maybe it's even mi first) victories against The Evil One, and i put it down here as a record of mi triumph:

05.20.02
tim: At any rate, you have succeeded in mind controlling my brother to your purposes. He has obeyed your evil orders, and is playing that Rock Music version of "Happy Birthday" around me with that thingie.* You will pay for this.
::cat dances and jumps around in glee:: i won! i won! bwahahahaha!!! i won!!! i finally came out ahead in the ongoing struggle of mean-ness! yeeheeheehee ::laughter continues as time t approaches infinity::!

*the 'thingie' is the Dancing Hamster that mi angel and i got for kev as a present. it sings 'happy birthday' and dances. hmm...kev predicted that it would very quickly annoy The Mean One (within five minutes, actually). he was right! now i have a tool to torture The Mean One with! must just stay on kev's good side and then i have a way to have mi vengeance on The Mean One. yeeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee...

::yawn:: just back last night from a weekend of prom, shopping, and board meeting. what a combination :-P. i love san diego...aside from being the residence of one of mi guardian angels, it's gorgeous, laid-back, i love the weather (overcast and breezy), and the malls are phenomenal (especially UTC). actually, mi other angel is in san diego too, right now. aie. aren't guardian angels supposed to be around you so that they can protect you? the people in san diego are wonderful folks, too. i loved it there.

why do i put up with this? Quotes for today (although they were spoken yesterday):
tim: Sorry I couldn't stay for the rest of the meeting. Ten minutes of seeing you was both enough and too much.
tim: You whore, you whore yet charming whore.

granted, the second quote was a) taken sort of out of context (not really) and b) a latin reference, but still...why me?! i s'pose im too stupid to let go of relationships that i should, hmm? am only kidding.